“I was in an abusive relationship that I knew I needed to get out of.”

Enid* tells us how her health spiralled downhill and her debts became overwhelming after she left an abusive relationship.

A few years ago, I got into difficulty with my benefits and I ended up in Court. During the hearing so many of my character witnesses said how I helped so many people as a foster carer. But I’m good at helping other people and not very good at helping myself. During this time, I was also in an abusive relationship that I knew I needed to get out of, so myself and my daughter left our home and moved to a different area. But this meant I was on my own with no help and it was incredibly difficult. I really didn’t know what I was doing. 

I was working part time and was struggling to keep up with all my different payments and bills. I had severe vertigo and migraines, anxiety, depression and PTSD. My debts were piling up and I was really struggling to pay my bills. At this point, I was robbing Peter to pay Paul and I didn’t know what I was doing with my finances, I didn’t know how to organise things and my health went downhill.

I get so emotional when I talk about these things as it weighs so heavily on me. Because I’m a mum, a single parent, the responsibility lies with me and because I was the one who made an error, I knew I needed to fix it, but I didn’t know how.  

I came across Crosslight through my Housing Association. I was struggling to pay my rent and they suggested that I speak with Crosslight as I had no one else to turn to. Once I spoke with my debt adviser, things started to make sense. If someone had explained things to me years ago the way she did, I wouldn’t be in the mess I am now, which makes me so sad. I’ve been so lost for so many years.   

I’ve learnt that it is so important to be honest and transparent about your situation and struggles. I’m in therapy and one piece of advice I have been given is that there is always a rainbow behind the clouds. This is why I think it’s so important to me to be open and transparent with people so that I can see that rainbow. My debt adviser helped me figure out how to do that with my financial situation.  

I was embarrassed to have such a huge amount of debt. I was always so worried about people judging me, but my debt adviser never ever judged me. All I’ve tried to do is do the best for my daughter, something I never had as a kid. And my debt adviser understood that. I am so appreciative of all the support she has given me. I knew that she really did care about me and where I was and how I was feeling during the whole process.  

I am still on my journey with Crosslight but I’m going to keep going as I have come so far, and I won’t give up now. With their help, different debts have been written off. I have also had help applying for [disability benefit] and know that Crosslight will give support when I get my benefit interview.   

All I want is for my daughter to do well in life. She is so focused, and wants to save and do well. I have helped teach her these things as I didn’t want her to be like me when it came to money. I wouldn’t want my difficulties to affect her now or when I’m gone, so all I want to do is make sure she doesn’t have to worry about those things, ever.  

I hope that the months ahead will bring new things and more hope with the support of Crosslight. 

*Names have been changed